The Goblin Queen
by Devryn
Summary: One-shot: Princess Fiona meets an unexpected guest at the royal ball. Fiona/Jareth pairing.


**AN: This fic is the result of a challenge posed to me by some friends - namely, that of writing a Jareth/Princess Fiona pairing. It's meant only to (hopefully) amuse and is not intended to be very serious, so forgive any AU/OOC infractions**.

* * *

She saw him from across the ballroom. His dark blue coat was striking enough, she supposed, but it was his multi-colored, sparkly hair and that…bulge that made noticing him unavoidable.

Fiona tried to put all thoughts of the strange man out of her mind. She should have been distracted enough by thoughts of her beloved Shrek and Prince Charming, but somehow…thoughts of the effeminate man with the sparkly mullet kept resurfacing, unbidden and yet…oddly, not unwelcome.

The band played on merrily, and the red-haired princess half-heard someone speak to her, but these sounds were muddled, confused. All she could hear clearly was strands of an odd, haunting melody drifting in and out of her consciousness – something about the world falling down. Weird.

Suddenly, she caught a glimpse of pale blond hair, sparkly and tinged with pastel highlights. He was dancing with another woman, but the smirk he gave her was provoking and mischievous. He was taunting her, challenging her. That look made her blood boil, and she was suddenly filled with a jealous rage. How dare he look at her like that – and while another woman's arms clung possessively to him!

The Queen called to her, and Prince Charming clutched at her arm, but it was too late – the Princess had disappeared among the throngs of dancers. Fiona wandered through the crowd, dying to catch another look of the mysterious man. She'd spy a glimpse of an eye – one wearing more eye shadow than she did – or a smirking mouth, but again and again he would elude her.

And then, suddenly, she was in his arms, staring up into his mismatched eyes as they danced.

"So good to see you, Fiona."

He purred an introduction into her ear, and she learned he was Jareth, the Goblin King.

She normally would not care at all for goblins, and subconsciously, she knew that she ought to be concerned about Shrek, but this flamboyant Jareth had her completely entranced.

The next thing she knew, they were kissing and then…they were no longer in the ballroom. She had blinked, and they were in a decadent bedroom, surrounded by thick stone walls.

Jareth looked at her hungrily. She stared back at him with renewed confusion.

"Where _are _we? What's going on?" Fiona demanded saucily, hands on her hips.

The Goblin King gave an arrogant sigh. "Don't play stupid, Fiona. It doesn't become you."

She glared and waited for some kind of answer to her questions.

"Oh give it up, Fiona. That kiss was proof enough you knew what you wanted. Come." He reached for her lustfully, pulling her towards the bed.

She gaped at him, open-mouthed. "Jareth! You…! This is ridiculous! One kiss hardly counts as consent for anything, and besides, you…" She searched for the right word. "…seduced me! _And_ kidnapped me! I won't –"

Her angry protest was cut short, however, by the sound of a clock striking twelve.

"Oh no! I forgot!" Fiona gasped in distress and looked around in panic, searching for some solution. There was none.

Jareth raised a delicate, tweezed brow in surprise. "Whatever is the matter, Fiona? You look like you've seen a ghost."

The full impact of her words hit him and he questioned again, "Wait – forgot what? What's going on?"

Fiona never got the chance to reply. The clock finished chiming, and, in a puff of swirling smoke and light, the Princess reverted back to her normal ogre form.

It was Jareth's turn to stare. He eyed her with confusion and disgust. "My, my, my, Fiona, this _is _a surprise."

The ridicule in his tone brought tears to her eyes.

"You didn't ask! And you didn't exactly give me a chance to explain! No-ooo! You just grabbed me and _whoosh! _whisked me away to…wherever this is!" She screamed angrily at him, and he sneered snottily in response.

"Well, you certainly won't do for a wife _now_, but…" Jareth smiled coldly. "I think I have another use for you."

His words cut her, and she thought briefly of her Shrek, before she began to panic again. "What…what do you mean?"

"I think an ogre would be the perfect caretaker for future goblins, don't you?"

* * *

Jareth strode off smirking to himself. He'd left Fiona in a corner of the dungeon he was now calling the "nursery." Goblins and babes destined to be goblins wore on his nerves with their constant crying and bickering. Let the "Princess" care for them. She would get along well with them, he was sure.

"JARETH! JARETH!"

He ignored her furious screams and walked away, though he could still hear them from the throne room.

"IT'S NOT _FAIR_!"


End file.
